what to do when youre a toxic person
Whether it's a friend, family fellow member or romantic partner, many of us have needed to cut ties — or establish firm boundaries — with someone when we realize this person is toxic and the relationship is harmful to our emotional well-being. But there'south an elephant in the room when it comes to discussing toxic behavior and relationships. What should yous do if you lot realize you're the toxic person in a relationship?
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Admit in that location's a trouble (you lot)
As is the case with most problems, the outset pace is acknowledging that your behavior is harmful to one or more people in your life. Considering we're accustomed to directing our attention outward, this is easier said than done.
"It tin can be like shooting fish in a barrel to spot toxic behaviors in others, yet it can exist very difficult to spot them in ourselves," Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist, tells SheKnows. "The phenomenon occurs because it is homo nature to observe the behaviors of others far more than we observe our ain behaviors."
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Start noticing patterns in behavior
Manly says that certain toxic behaviors — such every bit gossiping, judgment, criticism, sarcasm and complaining — tin can be difficult to spot considering the individual has become then accustomed to them.
"Heed to those who honey you," she advises. If you've repeatedly been on the receiving end of comments similar, "You're such a drama queen!" and "You never cease complaining," don't write them off — use them equally an opportunity for cocky-reflection.
"Allow yourself to notice if various people have chosen you on the same beliefs throughout the years," Manly says. "This is a sign that your behavior in these areas may indeed be toxic."
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Pay attention to your relationships
Dr. Sal Raichbach, a psychologist at Ambrosia Handling Middle, tells SheKnows that if your friends don't stick around, it could be a red flag that you're the problem in your relationships.
"Toxic behaviors take a serious cost on relationships, and eventually, they will drive abroad the people that are closest to you lot," Raichbach says. "If friends are constantly dropping out of your social circle, it might be a sign that your attitudes and behaviors are causing people to disappear."
Stop blaming others
Consistently blaming others for your own problems is too a sign that y'all're a toxic person. Every bit Raichbach points out, the inability to accept responsibleness for your own actions typically means that you button the negativity onto the people around you.
If these signs hitting shut to home, don't despair — in one case you acknowledge problematic behavior, you lot can get to piece of work fixing it and becoming the best version of yourself. "It's important to recognize that no one is entirely toxic, so even if you have some unhealthy behaviors, it doesn't mean you're a bad person," Raichbach explains.
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We've all witnessed a person mistreat others or give off a negative energy. Raichbach suggests request yourself if y'all've been guilty of engaging in similar behaviors. "If yous take yourself out of the equation, it's easier to run across the cause and effect of treating others poorly," he says.
Take a footstep back
Individuals can benefit from taking a stride back from a situation in club to observe their own behavior, Manly explains. She suggests the technique of imagining three circles: The self, the other person (or situation) and the "objective being." Although Manly says it tin take quite a bit of practice to larn this skill, it'southward worth the effort considering it can be a game-changer when it comes to the process of self-observation and self-awareness.
"For case, if a person is frequently accused of existence critical or sarcastic, the idea would be to detach (to step back) to imagine how some other person would have a sure comment," Manly explains. "And then, the 'objective existence' would chinkle in to run across the comment with even greater detachment. This skill can be applied to about every state of affairs."
Breaking the wheel of toxic behaviors won't happen overnight, but taking these concrete steps will improve both your life and the lives of the people who matter to you lot most.
Source: https://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1140457/toxic-person-what-to-do/
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